Motorcyclists Are Ride On! Embroidered Patch

This magnificently colorful embroidered patch measures at just 4" W x 3.3" H yet weighs an astonishing two tons in unmitigated badassery. Prove you're not to be trifled with by ironing this patch onto your favorite denim vest and declaring to the world that you truly are "Ride On!" Small children in the streets will dance and cheer, jealous policemen will gnash their teeth in anger, a moderately-sized statue will be erected in your honor, the mayor will hand you the keys to his Buick, and so on. Voted "Best Motorcycle Patch of the Year" three years running by Larry's Emblem & Patch Quarterly.

Scientifically proven to increase fuel economy, lower cholesterol, improve standing in the community, boost I.Q. by 3% (approx.), double your salary, permanently remove all late fees, impress clergymen, turn heads instead of stomachs, wrestle poodles and win!

Comes with free sticker of my choosing and packaged in a handsome paper envelope, adorned with your very own hand-written address, complete with collectable United States postage stamp. Do you have what it takes to be "Ride On"? Order this life-changing patch and find out!